Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey

(Minimal amount of spoilers)

Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side
Author: Beth Fantaskey
Year of Publication: 2009
Genre: YA, fantasy
Pages: 351
First Line: "The first time I saw him, a heavy, gray fog clung to the cornfields, tails of mist slithering between the dying stalks."

Summary: Marrying a vampire definitely doesn't fit into Jessica's senior year "get-a-life" plan.

Enter a bizarre new exchange student named Lucius Vladescu who claims Jessica is a Romanian vampire princess by birth and he's her long-lost fiance. He's arrogant, officious, embarrassingly overprotective, and, well, incredibly hot.

Armed with a copy of Growing Up Undead: A Teen Vampire's Guide to Dating, Health and Emotions, Jessica tries to imagine the transition from an average American teenager to a glam European vampire princess. But just when things start to heat up with Lucius, a devious cheerleader sets her sights on him.

Soon Jess finds herself fighting to win back her wayward prince, stop a global vampire war--and save Lucius's soul from eternal damnation. Wouldn't life be easier if she could just fall for a nice mortal boy?

(Source: Back of book)

Review: Alright. So here's the deal. Jessica = Mary Sue. Lucius = Edward Cullen Sue. I'll admit it--Lucius was a hottie, most of the time. But it got to a point, especially towards the second half of the book, where he was just down-right annoying and I wanted to smack him and Jessica in the face for being total morons. Fantaskey's style wasn't entirely original, but there were a few things (though I can't remember them now) that stuck out to me. They were things that seemed out of place or something. I wish I could remember them, but alas, I cannot. I believe it had something to do with Jessica knowing things that she shouldn't, like other characters' emotions. And not in a way that was 'omg psychic vampire!onefiftysix!!lol33!#' Just some inconsistent POV. Some of the problems were resolved FAR too easily, considering all of the build up. Actually, all of the problems were like that. Oh, and her parents were super Mary Sue, too. The whole book was. (C'mon, Vasile is totally the Volturi. Don't even lie to me, Fantaskey. And Jake = Mike Newton + Jacob Black. Andandand.)

I really liked this book while I was reading it and had a hard time putting it down. But in hindsight, it really wasn't all that quality of a book. However, if you're into the whole YA-vampire thing, this one isn't too bad.

Worst part: Sometimes it felt like Fantaskey was writing a paper and giving examples for a thesis. There were two instances where Lucius would do this or that and then later, she would let Jessica vent about it, using those instances. It's done much better in other things I've read.

Best part:, Lucius was, in parts, tooth-achingly sweet. I love me some fluff. (Also, aside from the writing, I really liked the cover. Partly because the guy on it is super hot. And you only see half his face. So. If anyone knows who that is, I'd love to know.)

Grade: B-

Other Books by This Author: None.

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